guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
