i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
