ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
