you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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