R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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