If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
