I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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