im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
