Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
