Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
