I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ambien. No doubt about it.
...so i touched it.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
