i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
