is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
