cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
