upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize