ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
