the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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