apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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