im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
