I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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