Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize