Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
