I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
