Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
