I love black thongs
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
