She said her name was "party"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
