I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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