I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we have pet lesbian snakes
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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