I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
