i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize