i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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