I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
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btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
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I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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