I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
