It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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