A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
