i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
