It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
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The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
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Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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