When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
