guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize