i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
