i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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