No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
