im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Are my feet made of real feet?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
