every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
