You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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