Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize