Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
