it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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