I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My bed smells like the plague
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize