1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
