It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
