hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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