Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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