You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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