you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
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He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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