Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
