She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize