Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
