we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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