I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
not ubering you a puppy
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
