listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
