so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize