Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
