just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
