When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
