There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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